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The Ballad Of Bill GatesTo the tune of The Ballad of Tom Jones by SpaceOh what did I do wrong? Oh you only started clicking Was DOS really all that bad? It's worse than feeding in punched cards, winding tape spools, switching valve cells Is Windows any better? Oh you can't run it on 8 meg You mean I need another upgrade? I mean like hard drive, fast processor, whole new computer instead? It was lucky for us I turned my Acorn on They say that RISC OS is bugfree at least There was something up with the PC that made the screen red The keyboard was broken, the mouse surely dead Chorus You stopped my computer from working (Bill Gates, Bill Gates) You'll never know but you caused me strife (Bill Gates, Bill Gates) I laughed as they threw custard at you And you talk like a frog So Excel has its problems You mean it can't add up its sums Still want to rewrite your software And I still wanna fix all your bugs I phoned the software helpline I said it's a real pain in the neck I'm sick of system crashes And then I'm forced to reboot, making me sick It was about to drive me over the edge of the cliff Autoroute Express had the wrong turning again A new computer took over and slammed on the brakes It was lucky for us it was running RISC O.S. Chorus And when 2000's over I'll lose my work, files in a mess I transferred to my new Acorn The GUI was much easier and now I'm ahead Oh your name adds up to Satan And your computers are hell Another system warning now Just incase I ever get tired of the bugs I'd used my Acorn computer so long I'd forgotten that PCs are always going wrong... Chorus Read the original version E-Mail of the Faecesto the tune of Female of the Species by SpaceA thousand internal errors await me Battling with DOS boxes so hatefully A StrongARM in an Acorn is faster than Intel Beep beep error error Beep beep error I'm pulling out my hair For this Windows based affair A StrongARM in an Acorn is faster than Intel Chorus Oh PCs use Windows One click and I've such woes So how could I have scrapped my BBC? It's much easier to use than a PC - Oh how could I have scrapped my BBC? It's much easier to use than a PC! Impression and Sibelius are better than you Microsoft Word joins the back of the queue A StrongARM in an Acorn is faster than Intel Bill Gates wants to conquer the world completely But Acorn can do it, just more discreetly A StrongARM in an Acorn is faster than Intel Chorus Read the original version |
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