You change channels again, and watch Friends. The episode is entitled "The One Where The Statue Of Liberty Is Abducted By Aliens." The script is inferior, but it does have one of the best jokes of the series, where Monica thinks she's a teapot.

By the end of the programme, Ross and Chandler have defeated the aliens by crashing the spaceship by connecting it up to a PC laptop and installing Windows. Good to know that even aliens are using the latest 'industry standards'.

Armed with this knowledge, you feel ready for anything.

Fly out to New York with your laptop and a Windows 95 CD.