"I didn't expect to see you here, Mouldy" he says. "I'm here for a couple of weeks holiday from being the most suspicous and shady character in the X Files."
"I thought you were shot," you say. "I saw it on video."
"That was just the hard work of the makeup department, and some overacting by me." he whispers. "Looked quite convincing, didn't it. I should get an Emmy for that."
"Ah, but you won't. If there's any awards to win, I'll get them, because I'm the lead role."
"Goodness gracious me!" says the Hamlet Cigar Smoking Man, "Is that the time? I've got to be in Russia in an hour, there's a body there you're not supposed to know abo-" He suddenly slaps his hand over his mouth, realising he's said too much. "Pretend you never heard that. It'll ruin next week's episode."
He drops his cigar to the floor, stamps it out, then calmly walks away. You are left alone with a china statue of liberty.